What Lemony Snicket Forgot to Mention
by Beatrice B
Summary: Prepare yourselves, ladies and gentlemen, my father only allowed you to view the watered down version of what truly happened. Welcome To The Terrible Tale. Welcome to the truth.
1. Introduction

Disclaimer: I don't own any of Lemony snickets/ Daniel Handlers work except for the plot.

What Lemony Snicket Forgot to Mention

For those of you who don't know me I am Lemony Snicket's Daughter... Yes, I know quite hard for you to imagine, Lemony Snicket a father... anyways... He died today I found out from T_he Daily Punctillio_ and I was looking through his findings about the Baudelaires and there was quite a lot he did not let the public know. Not because he did not want them to know, at least I mean the readers. However he thought it would be dangerous for you to get the whole truth. He gave you the watered down version of what truly happened. For if he did not; bad things could have happened... Terrible things. So go grab your copies of the books that he gave you and devour the information but if you truly are looking for the real story... look no further. Sit back. Relax. And welcome ladies and gentlemen to what my father did not want you to know. Welcome to The Terrible Tale.


	2. The Research Room

Don't own series of unfortunate events — oh and it snowed today... first snow of the winter.

The Research Room

You see, I stumbled upon my fathers secret study; for he had it blocked off by a bookcase. In his will he explained to me about his research, and how it had been an obsession of his. Anyways... he explained to me that I should reach for the book entitled V. F. D. and Me: A Beginners Guide of Survival. It certainly was an odd name for a book. He told me to keep it on my person at all times. The bookshelf split and an arch was in front of me. I tentatively entered his hidden world. I looked back and the bookshelf was back in place. The window was covered by curtains. Pictures of the Baudelaires home before the fire... after the fire. A library of books that of which I had never knew existed. The strangest thing though... was a walkman laid out with a box of cassette tapes. I sat down on the writing chair. The very chair where he wrote the books that most people assume are fiction. I examine the typewriter. It looks old. I touch it... and it starts typing a message.

_Dear Elizabeth Snicket, _

It types and yet no one is making it. I swear if this was a talkie the music would be creepy.

_If you are reading this letter then that means I am dead._

_I am your father, Lemony Snicket._

I look at the book in my hand. Its leather back is worn as if many hands have ruffled through it. I look back at the typewriter.

_I have rigged this typewriter to give you my last typed sentences._

_You see you are my last hope of explaining my full findings to the general public._

_You are V.F.D.s last hope for restoration._

_You must find the Baudelaire siblings and they will explain everything._

_But before you find them You must complete my set of tapes... I shall know if you haven't for Daddy always knows.… Besides I am watching over you. _

_Unless you have turned Atheist which in that case... I hope you would do it as a way to honor my last wishes before... before I must leave you._

What is V.F.D? Wouldn't the Baudelaires be dead by now? The tapes, what is so special about them?

_My books are located in the desk... all 13 of them. Including the Unauthorized Autobiography and The Beatrice Letters; You must read the autobiography first then the Beatrice letters and finally the books; the tapes will explain all that which I could not print for fear of being stolen. _

_You must travel to each place and unearth my findings. _

_I have pulled down other books you will need for the journey._

_All the supplies you will need are located in the bag underneath the desk. _

_You must start before the fire... before the bad beginning_

_Before you were born._

_You must start in this room. _

_For in this room is The map of your course._

_In this room my dear you will find all my research compiled in the bag I spoke previously._

_Good luck my dear._

_Remember you are the last hope for the future._

_I love you_

_with all due respect,_

_Lemony Snicket_

_P.S. The world is quiet here._


	3. Before the Beginning

The only thing I own is my character... that world belongs to Daniel Handler

Before The Beginning

Shock fills my brain, I don't really understand what he wants me to do. I review the letter and make a decision. The first thing I have to do is find the bag my father spoke of; but where could it be? He said it was located underneath the desk; but how is that possible? Okay, Okay, there has to be a way to find the bag. Maybe if I moved the table. Before I even should think about moving the table I get up and close the curtains, can never be too careful. Once the outside world is no longer a problem... I walk around to the other side of the desk, after all it is much easier to push things than to pull them. Pressing my full weight against the desk I push... and push... and push. By the time my body begins sweating I manage to have pushed the desk half of the way towards the window. They typewriter is slightly shifted. The cassette tapes! I check to make sure they are alright. Father would never forgive me if they broke. Ok... Ok.… Take a deep breath. They seem to be alright. Just as I am about to pull the desk back something catches my eye.

A floor panel that looks different from the others. I push it off... wow it doesn't look that heavy. A safe, crap... Ok so what might it be. Perhaps my birthday, no, no that would be too obvious... How about hmm... What could it be? Maybe the survival guide will have some information. I sit back down in the chair, and pick up the book. Turn to the table of contents.

Chapter 1-What is V.F.D? - Page 1

Chapter 2 - The history of V. F. D. - Page 3

Chapter 3-Which side are your parents on? OR Which side recruited you? - Page 15

Chapter 4 - The Schism - Page 35

Chapter 5 - Vernacular Focus Device - Page 40

Chapter 6-Escape And Evasion - Page 45

Chapter 7-Very Fine Disguises - Page 55

Chapter 8 - Hiding Places - Page 60

Level 2

Chapter 9 - Secret Codes and Cyphers - Page 65

( I stopped reading after that.)

I know I was probably skipping important parts but I need to fulfill my fathers wishes. Ah, Here we are. Page 65, A picture of a circle with another circle was on the cover... What is that? Oh, well not important. I turn the page. A sticky note is attached with the message:

_Once upon a time, there were Five sons. Their mother came up to them and said, it is Seven 'o'clock time to go to bed. _

_From: Ley Monet Snikkit_

Brilliantly done, I mean I understand that it was put there from my father. Ley - Monet would be Lemony and Snikkit is really just Snicket. But what could he possibly mean by that passage. I re-read it:

Once upon a time, there were Five sons. Their mother came up to them and said, it is Seven' O'clock time to go to bed.

Things started to stand out, the once, the five, and the seven... but what do those numbers mean?

Could they go to the safe?

I turn the dial to the right on the one, then to the left on the five, and the right on the seven.

It opens, and the backpack is inside the safe!

Okay, Now to find the map. Did he make it this difficult on purpose? Honestly who does he think is going to steal his lives work; who would be so cruel as to take a dead mans possessions. I place the backpack on the table. Maps are plasterd all over the walls; but which one would it be. It turns out it was none of them, why have maps if they don't offer anything. I take them down anyway and place them in my bag. I go over to the bookshelves, the smell of old parchment and paper fills my nostrils. The bookshelf I am currently looking at lists them by title. I head to the other side, nope still not there; as not to bore you how many bookshelves I looked through I'll skip to when I found the right shelf. Mapping with Mysriah, no, The Nautical system nope, Ah here we go Mapping your path. I take it down and a map is sticking out of it. Why would he put it in a book? Another note :

_Only those who read can know their Destiny._

_From - Ley Monet Snikkit_

I take the note and put it in the bag; now lets look at this thing. It displayed where I was, almost like It knew where I was, I moved over to the table and the dot moved. (Borrowing the idea of Mauraders map from harry potter but this isn't a crossover.) Cool! So I place the map in the bag as well. Now what do I do? Oh yeah now I remember. I try and open the desk but it won't budge. Not Again! Okay, so I need a key. Now where would that be?


	4. Sight and Sound

Daniel Handler created everything — and alas has copyright protection — please don't sue me, I just LOVE the writing.

Sight and Sound

Where could the key be? If I can't find the key, I might have to break in to my own father's drawer. Lets see, the key... The key... where would you be? In the letter it said, all the things I would need would be in the backpack so... maybe the key is in there. Might as well try, I don't have anything to lose; except my integrity. I search in all the crevices of the backpack, every nook and cranny but can't seem to find anything. Must he make me scramble to find everything, to figure out his puzzles? Even when he was alive he was cryptic and difficult to understand. In all my 16 years, never have I understood his method of living, always hiding; always on the move, as if trying to protect me from some psycho-maniac.

I sit down trying to think... What can I do? OW! I just slammed my knee on the desk, ow gosh it hurts. I really want to say bad words but I bite my tongue. I crouch down on the floor holding my knee to my chest. Low and behold an envelope is taped to the bottom of the desk. I take the envelope and it is blank yellow parchment. I peel the tape back and out falls a key, which is attached to a chain. I held in my hands, it felt like metal, and some type of engraving on it. It glints in the light from the curtain.

The inscription reads: _The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled. - Plutarch_

What does that have anything to do with this, I unlock the desk drawer and place the key on the table. I pick up all of the books and put them in the bag. Pictures are spread out underneath everything, odd. A woman and my father both facing away from the camera are walking on a beach. You might be wondering how I can tell it is my father; well thats his style... he never lets his face be shown in a photo. I don't really understand why though. She also has an eye on her ankle, curiouser and curiouser. ( I just love that line from alice in wonderland, I thought I'd stick it in.) Underneath her picture is a scrawled word : _Beatrice. _Who is she?

Another Picture of a group of people, each wearing a spyglass. Each with an eye tattooed on their ankle. Is it some kind of club? I put it in the bag and find a blank timeline except for these 4 words. Everything Ends in Fire, and then it is blank; does he want me to write in the timeline? I feel like I know my father less and less as each moment passes. I put everything I have found in the bag, including the Cassette tapes. I take the pictures off the walls. I wear the key around my neck, and take the bag and exit his hidden chamber not quite sure what to expect.

The bookcase slides back into place and I leave my old life behind and start walking outside, down the street and around the corner. Someone appears to be following me. I look behind me and OH My God ITS

( By the time you read this she will have found out who the man is and is to busy fleeing to actually write anything.)


	5. Daddy Dearest

All I own is Elizabeth Snicket and what goes on in my imagination

Daddy Dearest

( she is writing all this down an hour later, sitting in a small cafe with the man who was chasing her)

I looked behind me and OH MY GOSH IT'S MY FATHER! I stop running, stunned. My legs feel like jelly and my heart feels like it could pop out of my ribcage. I swallow what feels like a big ball of who knows what back into my stomach. We look at each other, he the supposed corpse and me the freaked out living person. He sees I have the backpack and gives me a small smile. "I am sorry about what _The Daily Punctillio_ told you." My father leads me to a cafe where everyone apparently wants to me to feel underdressed. A women escorts us to the booth, and oddly enough she looks like the woman in the photo. Not the Beatrice one; I check and yes, she does have an eye on her ankle. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE! I want to scream at my father for not telling me anything but I remain silent.

Apparently he notices that fact to and sighs in an agitated way. She looks somewhat like him, kind of like a relative, maybe a mother. She ruffles her gray hair and asks " Well, young lady have you been good to your mother" My father looks bemused and replies, " The real question is has my mother been good to me?" He raises his eyebrow and smirks at the old lady. WHAT IS GOING ON? The woman sits down and what she says next changes my world forever.

" It has been so long son, I thought you had died!" She looks at me and a new look takes over her features. " Is she..." He nods.… "Beatrice and I met at a party and had a tryst and she ended up pregnant. She gave me the baby, once she found out that I was alive, and then she... She... " She takes out at least a thousand dollars and puts it in my father's hand. "Before I leave I think it is time you explain to your daughter why." His face turns red and he looks embarrassed. "Goodbye mother, and remember to remain quiet... not a sound" The old women gets up and leaves and we are alone.

"The first thing I need to do is take you where you would have gone had I truly been dead, I am sorry but I had a mission and it would have been dangerous if you knew that I was alive." I look at my father, I think I want to vomit but I don't. "Why, am I just a mistake that you wish never happened… IS THAT IT!" He rubs his temples and smiles uncomfortably. " No, You are the one good thing I still have in my life, if it wasn't for you I would still be in depression over all that has befallen me in life. Now, I will have to start from the begginging; Which was when I was born. It is getting late, once we are home you must get some rest... tommorow I won't be available. I want you to do as I instructed in the letter, and I will contact you when I can. Pretend I am still dead, alright... or my cover will be blown. I love you, never forget that."

We got home and he left right as I was getting in the door, sometimes I miss him. I miss when I was little and we would talk all the time. I miss him reading to me late at night. I miss my Daddy! I bite back the tears. They won't help me solve the mystery I find myself in. They won't help at all. I climb up in to bed and a telescope is laying on my bed. A note beside it:

_Welcome to the Fire - L.S._


	6. Discovering The Journey

( Hey guys I would like some suggestions on what you think would want to happen, review and let me know; Thanks to SunnyBunny427 for some of my ideas.) — Some of the writing is lemony snickets from the books.

- Don't own everything oh, but I wish I did

I put the strap on the Walkman, now I can have one less thing to carry. (For those of you who don't know what a Walkman is, or a cassette player; that is what was there before CDs, I am really into retro stuff so I know that.) I take the tape out and flip to side B.

The humming starts again, and I am prepared to listen. His voice fills my ears and I am somewhat less apprehensive of making the journey.

_Hello my darling, Elizabeth._

My breathing hitches; I start to feel like I am losing him all over again.

_Elizabeth; you have been what has been keeping me going all these years. Take the book out and read the cover... then take the binding off._

I press pause. The book is covered in brown paper with the title _Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography. _I read the inside cover.:

The book you are holding in your hands is extremely dangerous. If the wrong people see you with this objectionable Autobiography. The results could be disastrous. Please make use of this book's reversible jacket immediately. Disguising this book, and yourself if necessary; may be your only hope.

I take the jacket off and examine the book. On the back is a picture of a folder being passed by a woman to a man, that is hiding the other mans face. On the other side is a news article with a sticky note on it.

_This obituary is filled with errors, most importantly I am not dead. - L.S._

What makes this book dangerous? What people is he talking about? What would happen if they found me? The picture on the back seems like my father's style... not letting his face be shown. Who are the woman and the other man?

The flip cover is of a girl riding a pony with balloons. A banner reads: The Luckiest Kids in the World. On the back side is a letter that resembles the way my father would address the public, how odd.

The irony behind the content of this book and what is happening in the real one is astounding.

I press Play.

_I have sheltered you from my past. You of all people deserve the truth. If the other side found you, they would do worse than kill you. In fact you would wish that they had done just that. The woman is my sister before she had her hair died blonde. As for the other man, I am not sure who he is. _

_The beginning of the tale begins with a song. Turn to page 9 in my autobiography. That way it is easier to understand._

I pause the tape, with a ringing in my ears. Looking at his writing stirs something in me, I am not sure whether it is my coffee that I had earlier or something else.

I press play.


	7. Driving with a Passenger

I wish I had thought up ASouE before Daniel Handler.

* Note - the timeline might not fully comply with cannon universe but I am trying my best to have it conform.

Following in his Footsteps

Once I pressed play I gathered everything I had taken and started walking out the door. I have this strange tug in my gut that tells me, It will be quite a while before I can come back here again.

_As I said before I would tell you the story of my life, from cradle to grave. So I am. My life began at a dairy. My mother wrote it all down in her diary._

I turn my back on the outside; taking in the glimpses of my home.

_In her diary_

I start walking. My heels click against the floor.

_She wrote: _

I open the door and exit my sanctuary.

_I am due any day now, I wonder which of us he will look like. Today we are stopping at a dairy for some garlic butter. I can't wait to use it in a recipe. _

I walk down the street, the walkman hitting against my hip with each step. I stop and get out a map of the country. I do have quite a ways till I reach the dairy. I might as well keep listening to pass the time. The City is very gloomy this time of day. I am 16 after all, so there must be a faster way to get there.

I pause the tape needing time to think.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe.

I hear tires screech and a car door opens and closes. I open my eyes and my father is standing in front of me with **a brand new car!**

The car was a coal colored black with new tires. I open the door and get inside. I already have a drivers license, I didn't want anyone thinking what I was doing was illegal. Instead of getting inside he gives me the keys and tells me that he has another mission to go on. Am I not that important in his life? Why! I just nod my head and smile. He wishes me good luck and walks away into the mist. I set my back pack on the seat next to me and push play.

_Later that day she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. She named me Lemony in honor of a lemon festival that she attended earlier that day._

_**thump**_

__I pause the tape and get out. I think I hit something. OH MY GOD! I hit a guy. I rush to him. Whoever he is, he must belong to V.F.D. he has a neclkace on but no tattoo. Blood covered his gray polo, did I do that... OH MY GOSH!


	8. Recruited Suprise

From V. F. D. He Came

Btw I don't own this. Rights reserved to lemony.

I took him under both of my arms, with panic searing my heart. Examining his pale face for bruises, he is sweating. His brunette hair sticks to his scalp, oh **God** **what have I done!** All of a sudden he smiles at me, a smirk unlike any I have ever seen. "Name's Edmund Baudelaire, and you are supposed to be the person I am Taking." What does he mean by Taking? Did he just say; Baudelaire? He takes off his shirt and I get the medical kit. I get a gauze and swipe his wound. He smiles up at me again.

"Did anyone ever tell you your eyes are shmancy,"he chuckled to himself half in a daze.

My cheeks flaming, I turn away and get bandages. Oh my gosh, I am going to have to touch his chest to put these on. Gulping, and trying to preserve both of our modesties I quickly and efficiently pat down the wrappings. His green eyes are glazed, I push towards a sitting position and ask something I have been bursting to ask for ever since he uttered his name.

"Are you related to the Baudelaires by any chance?" I ask him.

His smile fades a little and he looks away. "Yes, yes, I am; Violet adopted me when I was younger, she was sterile so she and Quigley couldn't have any children. Anything else you would like to know?"

He seems annoyed, better change the subject. " So why did my father ask you to watch over me?" A few minutes pass and I start the car. Ten minutes go by before I get an answer, and what he says changed everything, " He wanted me to recruit you, and help you finish the tapes; and he wanted to finish doing what he himself never had the chance to do. He wants the Baudelaires and the Snickets to join together in Matrimony, so we are to be wed."

Did he just say what I think he said?


	9. Driving Down the Highway

I just exercised again, trying to get in shape for swimming season. Daniel handler owns my universe.

Driving Down the Highway

Looking at the cobblestone road ahead; I sigh. My hands drum the wheel. Finally we start our journey. I look behind me and pull out of parallel park; come to think of it how did I hit him in the first place if I was parked. Something feels slightly off but I ignore the gut tugging feeling and we turn onto the road. Edmund toys with his necklace unsure as to what to say. We pass a few houses with picket fences and turn left and then keep going straight.

"I know what you must be going through." Edmund whispers, his voice sounding thick and deep like rock. Oh, really; he thinks he understands, he thinks he gets me... I grimace and my hands clutch the steering wheel as if it was my only means of survival. Clearing my throat, I make sure to inflect malice and distrust in each word. "Oh, really; you think you understand, you think you get me? How on earth did you even get hurt if I was in park?" We now have left behind the suburbs and are headed downtown. Smog condenses around the car, " The truth is... I ain't gonna tell ya the truth till I know ya better." Why did his accent change, weird? His brow furrows in annoyance.

A little kid tries to go get his ball, awe man. I slam on the brakes and we jerk forward. Once he was clear of our car, we continued down the highway until we left the city behind. Briny Beach is up ahead. It is almost noon; Edmund's stomach grumbles. It is an overcast day, at least, now it is. Turning off the car; we walk towards the lighthouse hands clasped together. My backpack is weighting me down, we should camp in the light house for lunch since it is starting to get chilly. I squeeze his hand, and say," last one to the light house has to clean up, see ya!" I start running and running with and my backpack punches my back with the pace of my footsteps. Looking backward, he still is standing there; and then he grins like a Cheshire cat. He starts taking up the rear and I feel like whooping. My once up-do has flown behind me in a tangle of brunette curls. My dress is starting to hinder me, thank God it's so close now. I tag the lighthouse and dance a dorky jig, because yes I won.

We meet at the entrance to the lighthouse and walk up the inside till we reach the center. I wonder if he packed food in my bag. I look inside and there are **Very Fast Delicacies**. Seriously, where does he find the place to put everything. I pull out two packets that say'_ just add water ' _I start to wonder whether fresh or clean water but Edmund interrupts my thinking. He stands across the room and he is gesturing to me. A few minutes later and we are munching on crunchy bread and butter. " My mother invented them you know?" His idle chat, while uncomfortable was necessary.

Once we had finished up our lunch we piled back into our car and drove for what seemed like hours without saying a word. The smell of Horseradish leaked into our car and we passed a garden of shrubbery which happened to look like snakes. Darkness had started to fall and the day just seemed to slip away, like sand through someone's hand. Turning on the night lights for the car, the dairy just visible beyond the horizon.


	10. The Dairy

I AM SO SORRY - I haven't updated in forever and it is summer time so I have been outside a lot more. I just got my license so I have been practicing driving... I don't own this , etc.

The Dairy

The car's tires screeched as it came to a halt. The moon was full overhead, I clutched at Edmund's hand. It felt warm and sweaty. The grass crunched as we walked towards the farmhouse. There was a barn, and a small farmhouse it looked like it hadn't been lived in — in ages. We started with the barn. _I don't think I want to let go of his hand it feels nice._It looked like there would be a storm coming, tomorrow night. I read all about it in my families library. About weather patterns. He linked arms with me and the barn grew closer. A rake was standing high and tall. A piece of paper was stuck on it.

In a hurried mess of writing it read:

**_Dear L.S._**

**_You found our barn._**

**_Our Hide away, Feel free to browse._**

**_Don't go outside after dark — stay in the barn or the house!_**

**_They have eyes unseen in the darkness._**

**_The Milkman_**

We hurried inside the barn and thankfully, no one spotted us. There was no hay on the ground, not any dead carcasses either. I tensed; it felt like I was being watched. Slowly I got out the map; it had a dot outside walking closer towards the barn! With a panicked look, I didn't dare to move. Edmund grimaced and clutched me tighter. His green eyes met my blue ones and I felt somewhat comforted. Even though I barely knew anything about him. His breathing grew faster. I looked again at the map and the dot had stopped moving. They must have decided they were imagining things because they started to walk away. Once we were home free I could breathe again. He hugged me so tightly, we just held each other affirming that we indeed had survived.

The place was rather nice and it even had electricity, albeit not very good electricity. Two lanterns sat on the end tables; white tile lined the floors; We settled in among the chairs. We had no idea what lay outside in wait for us.


End file.
